my life without you
Everything is passing like I have no soul .. my heart, my brain, my life .. unbearable pain got them all ..
Trying
to forget how cruel I was .. how mean I am .. how selfish I became ..
but how would I do that when everything around is calling you name .....
when the moon blames me every day I didn't tell you good night .....
How
could I forget when every single beat of my heart is screaming ..
screaming so loud .. pigging me to stab it with a wedge so it won't beat
no more .... maybe the pain would stop .
Even quiet hills is
whispering to me .. your name is everywhere .... there is an image of
your face will never get out of my memory .. your face is smiling no
matter how pain your heart bears .. you still smiling .. but I just
can't ignore that tear...... that tear in your eyes hiding behind the
smile.
But I will never forget ………... I will never forget how
kind you were to me .. how life was beautiful just because you were
there .. but now when you are not here anymore .. I just gather my
heart, my sorrow , my tears together .. grieving for what life forces us
to do , mourning how life would be with you .
I have a daily
tear wants to come out , in every second I realize that you are not
around ….. Tears have drained in my eyes .. slowly turning my heart into
a rock .. turning me into a zombie .. walking in my dead body without
even realizing is it a hill or a valley…..
Wishing life would be
cool without your eyes .. wishing life would still beautiful without
your beauty .......... wishing that pain would vanish and the image In
my head for you ……. Just Living everyday in a denial for what seems so
true ….
I still have that question in my head .. how everything
becomes so gray after it was red ..When beauty turns into ashes .. and
life into flashes .. when good memories are so hard to remember as pain
is so hard to forget ….
All that pain maybe I can handle without
making a cry .. but how can I handle it when I see that tear in your eye
.. when I see your eyes glowing high in the sky .. I've never deserved
you , that's why I can't climb so high
Fear comes in my mornings
as it comes in my nights .. dreams became nightmares .. waving flowers
turning into gibbets' robes .. kids laughter into screams .
I
want to feel the lightning, thunder and rain over and over again .. let the cold water and light just wash away all that darkness which covers everything
that was once so bright .
Somehow life shows me walking trees
...... with no bright green , with no leaves ........ shaking the ground
.. shaking my heart .. walking in a funeral .. a funeral for every rose
has fade … for the last promise I made ..
But when words stand
helpless .. can't describing how beautiful life is with you .. at least
it could say .. that this is how it seems … my life without you …
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