The day when I stabbed my heart

I was living that stable sweet life with no great looses.. No fancy living .. no huge changes ……

I really was satisfied with it .. smiling to everyone .. wiping their tears .. laughing at funny stuff , until …………………

Until ………..

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Until that night …… until that moment … until that dream ……

That moment when I lost everything …. My satisfaction…. , my life ….., my soul …… even my smile ………

I remember you staring at me in that dream .. I remember every single shadow was scaring .. I remember every single breath I was taking ……

I woke up … I don't really remember if it was night or morning .. but I really remember that everything was mourning …..

I remember sitting in that dark corner in my room .. just listening to the clock ...... ticking….. Distracted .. confused … thinking with no mind …looking with no sight .. feeling with no heart .. that's what i felt back then ....

It wasn't easy to wake up … and it wasn't easy to fall sleep again …. I don't even think it was easy to breath …

I've tried to move on .. as if nothing had happened .. it was working at the beginning .. but not till the end …….

The end ……….… the end when I tried to speak .. when I finally decided to say that word … that stupid word which brings lovers together .. and some other times it just breaks their hearts .. consume their souls ... torn their feelings .

My hands are shaking … my body is freezing … heart is bleeding .. and I did say that word …

I wish there was no but ………

but every door was shut …

and we have to be apart ….

The story is … when I stabbed my heart ………..